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There I was this morning, eating my Raisin Bran and getting my Chris Cuomo fix on CNN. I mean, sure, there’s bars between them ninety-percent of the time they see each other and their sex life consists of conjugal visits in a sterile room with cement block walls, but still. Instead of telling myself that the woman was an example of how anything is possible, I internalized the story and made it about how totally unloveable I must be and that I am just not destined to find anyone. Obviously, such a glass half-empty approach is a manifestation of deeper issues, right?
Cuomo was interviewing a man who had participated in a pen-pal service for civilians and inmates. My cat nudged my bicep and rubbed her little head along my arm to soothe me. I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as an optimist, and I’m sure neither would any of you. It didn’t help that two days ago my nephew sent me messages to berate me. I’ve always said human beings are capable of doing whatever it is they set their mind to doing.
Cut to a woman in a jumpsuit behind bars gushing about the man she met through an online personal ad. Why, the handsome silver-haired Canadian being interviewed by Cumo. I sat there on my bed cross-legged, my cereal bowl in my lap, milk dripping off my chin. It’s never that I’m single because I’m supposed to be right now or because I just never made it a priority. He’s the son of my sister who died four years ago this week. In my experience, whenever I have said I wanted to do something – truly wanted to do it – it came to me with ease.
The inmate explained that what initially started as a platonic relationship soon blossomed into romance. He’s still angry over the decisions made during my father’s probate case. We look at the string of “failures” we’ve experienced using platforms that – let’s face it – aren’t really designed to make things easier or help people actually find a relationship and we blame themselves.
But I’ve noticed a new strategy among my set of female friends—lovely, intelligent, independent women—to combat the grime of the online dating world: date up. More and more women I know are dating men twice, yes , Anne Hathaway stands with Robert De Niro and a bunch of young male colleagues in a bar and draws a harsh comparison: “How in one generation have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to . I see what Hathaway means: Why put up with Tinder when there’s a whole generation of men out there who wouldn’t dream of using it?
Women “self-objectify” in profile pictures to get men interested, renouncing the “wrong idea” that they might want something more than a one-night stand.In my own gay world, people come up with new slang so quickly, it'll make your weave spin.The show "Ru Paul's Drag Race," in which dolled-up drag queens deliver nothing but fishy (feminine) realness, new words are repeated every single episode. I’ve been telling friends that I feel like The Universe is pushing me in a certain direction, far out of my comfort zone.
It’s the things I’m apprehensive about – writing a book (which I’m still doing); having a relationship – that I struggle with most. I already feel like a failure, so the rejection only solidifies that belief. Maybe that’s all it takes – an unwaivering belief that it’s possible. Article Roundup Awkward Bad Dates Book Break Ups Casual Dating Casual sex Cheating Commitment Date Like a Man Dating Dating & Finances Dating 2.0 Dating After Divorce Dating In a Big City Dating is Fun Dating Lies Dating Myths Dating Over 35 Dating Over 40 Dating Realities Dating Skills Dating The Crazy Douchey Guys First Date Etiquette First Date Sex First Impressions Happy & Healthy Hook Up Culture Latests Posts Meeting Men Meeting Women Moxie 101 NEW!From "mad" to "sus" and back around to "squad deep," made-up words gradually shift from viral nonsense to full-on additions to the English dictionary.